I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
