I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
