I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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