glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
