$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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