You can't special order awesome
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
