she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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