Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
