where am i from again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
