Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize