sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize