I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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