Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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