I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
