He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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