In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
