plz talk dirty to me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
