thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
