Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
