Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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