I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
