literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
