Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I know her cup size but not her name....
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