Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
