I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
