Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
