He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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