some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I puked a lego.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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