Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
