Tell her she can't have a vagina
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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