if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Randomize
