hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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