After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
