sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
