Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Is Oprah even human
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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