They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
