Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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