I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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