Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
