Pappa wants mamma naked
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
