I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
