Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
