I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
