That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
