No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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