Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
