I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the day after is always just damage control
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
