i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What a dumb baby whore.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
