She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
