we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
