Got a toothbrush?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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