He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
