i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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