someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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