Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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