Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
