I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
