Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
