I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
