My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
