Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
