Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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