all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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