I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
