So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize