I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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