I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
