I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
