Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
