I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
