i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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