idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I understand Curling. That high.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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